Content Warning: This post talks about seasonal depression and mentions sadness, melancholy and loneliness.
I will put the rest of this post after the “Read More” barrier.
Table of Contents
Lady Winter
As Lady Winter makes herself known to all of us, I have been affected by the usual yearly seasonal depression that comes along during these cold, desolate months. This year however since my general mental and physical health is in much better shape than it has been in years past the fog of seasonal depression is not as thick as it used to be. The seasonal depression this year is not the seasonal desperation that it used to be.
That relative clarity has given me time to think about the nature of my particular brand of seasonal depression. Seasonal depression for me is a general malaise. A downward decline into a sadness, a melancholy. Loneliness plays a big part in this as well. Paradoxically, one of the best mitigation against my seasonal depression is socialization but the depression makes it hard to put in the effort to socialize.
Socialization
It is not that I become antisocial entirely, it is more of a withdrawal. Socialization has always been a cognitively expensive activity for me and during times of seasonal depression, the cognitive cost of social activity goes up ten fold. So I just tend to avoid doing more than is necessary to get through my day to day existence. One way of describing it is that my social battery is constantly at 60% capacity which means it gets depleted faster and is also slower to recharge.
Other Mitigation Techniques
Since socialization is more difficult during these times, I rely on other mitigation techniques to keep my general mood from slipping into darkness. I listen to more music, I keep away from news sites, I read pleasant books, I play more comfort video games, right now those are – Vampire Survivors & Balatro. I rewatch comfort TV – Star Trek TNG, Lower Decks, Futurama. Just trying to find warmth and comfort in media I already know I enjoy.
Physical Exercise
I have also found that a minimum of 30 minutes of physical exercise every day keeps the darkness at bay. For now I am doing a two kilometre walk every day. Once it gets colder and there is snow on the ground, my plan is to go to the local gym and get on the treadmill there along with a variety of other exercises.
Making Peace
The big change to my approach to tackling my seasonal depression is to not get angry at myself and to not fight it in a hostile and aggressive way. I find that that kind of self-deprecation and aggression results in the depression digging its heels in deeper and that is definitely an undesirable outcome.
Instead I make peace with the fact that just like winter, my seasonal depression is just that – seasonal. Just like cold winter wind, it sucks and blows but it eventually goes away as the season comes to a close. The only constant in life is change. As such, seasonal depression will change and wither away with time.
The seasonal depression also has at least one silver lining to it – it gives me more time for reflection and for writing blog posts like this. While I may not be motivated to socialize directly with my fellow human beings, I can still write and be creative and channel the depression’s desolation in creative ways.
How About You?
To the reader: How about you? Does seasonal depression plague you? If so, how does it feel? How do you deal with it? What works? What doesn’t?
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